I’ve been debating back and forth about whether I should I address certain issues outside of me always talking about fashion etc. The reality is life happens but it’s how we approach the different aspects of life that get us ready for the next level. I want to be as transparent and human with my readers as possible because the truth is, we are more alike than we think.
Recently, I’ve been having the great debate with myself about my self worth and if I’m a great friend. In the past few months, I’ve terminated a few friendships because I’ve either felt under appreciated or I’m the one that always has to reach out. Also, I’m definitely tired of apologizing for being too honest.
The other night I encountered a “girlfriend” wanting to get out and have a drink. Reluctantly, I went but I knew it was a terrible idea. Almost immediately everything was negative, how is your greeting negative? I’m trying to see how she had been since I hadn’t seen her in a week but for the life of my I couldn’t get anything positive out. That night was the last straw. I couldn’t take it. I felt like a soda waiting to explode after being shaken a million times. Mind you, the information that’s being spewed out is alarming me. So I burst out and said, “Do you realize you never have anything positive to say about your partner?! What does he do to make you happy? He has to do something that makes you happy because you’re still there.”
She paused. I then went on to tell her I didn’t want to continuously talk about her relationship because it always kills the vibe but she then got passive aggressive and flipped it to me. It was at this moment something clicked and I was checked out. Checked out to the point where I paid my bill, called my Uber and walked out. It’s so funny because The O’jays “Backstabbers” played as I signed the bill and walked out.
Now, I’m sure many of you are wondering what’s the big deal it was just a small hiccup. No, it was a pivotal moment in my life because not only did we have a tussle a few weeks prior where again, I was apologizing for something for her passive aggressiveness, but I knew this was something I didn’t want to deal with in the weeks and years to come.
I think what alarmed me about myself and my character, was how easy it was. In the recent friendship battles, I was the common denominator. So I legit was thinking something was wrong with me but honestly, this , like the rest of my friendships, had run its course. That happens. Am I sad? A little but I also have to look out for myself and my peace of mind.
At this moment, I’m about protecting my peace and taking control over my happiness. Throughout life, people will disappoint you but don’t let them disrespect you. It’s ok to set boundaries with friends, family or whoever you are dealing with. Don’t feel bad for looking out for yourself. If they can’t respect the lines you are drawing, then that person doesn’t hold your best interest.