Wow! It’s been months since I’ve felt any form of creativity flowing through my body. It’s been so much happening in my day to day that I lost track of my blog and anything else that keeps my creative juices flowing. I’d get ideas but I’d be in the middle of something else that I’d forget to write the idea down or I’d say, I’ll write/vlog when I get home and I’D PASS OUT after a 13 hour day on my job. To say I struggle with time management is an UNDERSTATEMENT.
The other day, I was joking with my sister because I was really good at time management in college, which a many collegians have issues with, but I pretty much had the same schedule every semester plus two or three jobs so it was easy for me to navigate my life back then. I thought finally landing a 9-5 would help me manage my time better but I never really work 9-5. I got use to working overtime because I had certain financial goals that I am trying desperately to hit by summer.
With setting those financial goals, I lost sight of my creative goals. Now here I am, 3 months left in the year trying figure my life out and how in the hell did I let this happen. Now, I’ve always been a procrastinator (something every air sign pretty much struggles with) but I usually get shit done, eventually. I guess a lot of it was me struggling with myself and thinking the terrible what if’s instead of not giving a damn about the what if’s. I think writing began to feel like a chore instead of a hobby! It felt so much pressure to create and it wasn’t fun anymore. Then it clicked, “girl you know you majored in BROADCASTING!!!” Create videos. Then the what if plagued me again. Idk why I was starting to make myself feel small.
My friends told me about an app called Pattern. It pretty much gives you a reading everyday about things that could be potentially happening in your day to day life. The other day I received an alert from the app and when I tell you it was God speaking directly to me!
“...Still, you can feel like you cannot get enough acclaim-even if you are a star! You could feel angry or anxious. Or you could think of you put yourself out there you’ll be exposed as not being good enough, so you shut down and become afraid of being seen.”
Pretty much me in a nutshell!
So ima do better y’all and try my hardest to be the best version of myself!
Dedicated to Sham Woods! I miss you girl!